Monday, July 10, 2006

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

(I confess: I didn't write this. But it's still funny.)

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Hem

I'm procrastinating from studying for my philosophy exam and listening to Hem. They're one of my favorite bands because their music is my kind of music. Some say boring, I say beautiful. They just released spring/summer tour dates, and they're coming to North Carolina! They will be in Charlotte, Asheville, and the good ole Chapel Hill, playing with Over the Rhine, a band that I don't know, but whose music you can listen to here and here.

I just linked Over the Rhine's music, and it kinda sucks. Now I realize that I can't link Hem's music, which is good. But you can go to their music page and download mp3's of their music. I suggest "Beautiful Sea" from the No Word From Tom album and "Redwing" from Eveningland.

Also, I just learned how to make links within my blog, so I'm going crazy with them! Below is the lyrics to my current favorite Hem song.


"The Beautiful Sea"

Me, I imagine places
That I have never seen
The colored lights in fountains,
Blue and green

And I imagine places
That I will never go
Behind these clouds that hang here,
Dark and low

But it's there when I'm holding you
It's there when I'm sleeping too
There when there's nothing left of me
It's hanging just beyond
the burned-out factory
Out of reach but leading me
Into the beautiful sea

And I remember something
It feels a lot like fear
Some kid is wild and shouting
Coast is clear

And it's there when I'm holding you
It's there when I'm sleeping too
There when there's nothing left of me
It's hanging just beyond
the burned-out factory
Out of reach but leading me
Into the beautiful sea

Into the beautiful sea

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Big Mouth Billy Bass

A couple friends of mine have been doing this thing where they choose a phrase and write 1500 words of fiction about it. They're Art Pansy types, so I guess it's some sort of writing exercise. I don't know what the point of it is. Keeps their juices flowing, I guess. Anyway, I was bored, so I joined in on their last exercise, the phrase for which was "largemouth bass." Here's my story.


Big Mouth Billy Bass

I met him when he was in full-on manic mode, though I didn’t know that. He flew into the restaurant where I waitressed, a whirlwind of energy, laughter, and most of all, charisma. Yes, he was the most charismatic man I had ever met. I overheard some of the conversation he was having with the suit as I served him his Deluxe Combo – an enormous grade A beef burger with all the fixins, a side of Kickin’ Kajun fries, and your choice of Auntie’s Apple Pie or the Chocolate Lava Cake, all for the amazingly low price of $7.99! He chose the chocolate cake. I didn’t catch it all, but he was outlining some sort of business plan for the suit. He was extremely enthusiastic and by the end of the lunch, the suit seemed sold. He must have had another important meeting because by the time I came back with the bill, only Jay was sitting at the table. After chatting me up a bit, he left me a huge tip and his phone number. He didn’t really seem like my type – a little too loud, a little too arrogant – but he was intense. And who am I kidding? I needed intensity in my life. Just that morning, I had looked in the mirror and said to my reflection, “Honey, you need some excitement to break up all this monotony,” so I went with the blue eye shadow instead of the usual none. Talk about foreshadowing. After some coaxing, I agreed to a date. I know, I know. I don’t usually date strangers. You never end up with what you bargained for.

I met him for dinner at Amadio’s, my favorite Italian restaurant. He wanted to pick me up, but I graciously declined. I may be dumb enough to take chances on dating strangers, but I’m certainly not dumb enough to let them know where I live. Amadio’s has the most delicious mushroom lasagna in the entire state, but don’t tell my mother that. Plus I’m friends with the owner, so I like to take first dates there, you know, just in case. Jay flew into the parking lot fifteen minutes late in a bright red shiny sports car. He strode confidently across the restaurant to my special table. Everything he does can only be described as confident. I’m not exaggerating when I say that every single one of the restaurant’s patrons noticed and admired his entrance, and then noticed me with what I like to think of as pangs of jealousy.

He was already talking before he sat down. And he kept talking. I only got him to shut up long enough to order our meals. It was a remarkably boring date with a remarkably interesting man. Strange combination, I know. He was interesting, it’s just, well, you can only listen to someone talking about themselves for so long.

After I finished my lasagna, I tried to excuse myself from his company by claiming exhaustion due to a long day at work. I was already planning my favorite pajamas, an old black-and-white movie, and a bowl of ice cream to finish of my evening. But Jay would have none of it. He practically begged me to do something “fun” with him; he said he had a surprise for me. When my skepticism visibly registered on my face, he laughed and guaranteed me that his intentions were pure and he just had a lot of energy to burn off. I briefly envisioned him burning off his excess energy by chopping up my body into little bits in the kitchen of his (no doubt) gorgeously modern bachelor’s condo. I have an overactive imagination and an inherent distrust of men. But after he convinced me of his innocent intentions to have “good old-fashioned fun” and I convinced myself that my little scenario wouldn’t happen because, let’s face it, I’m not special enough and my life is not interesting enough for something like that to happen to me, we left Amadio’s together. His charm is irresistible – any girl would have done the same.

As I walked toward my little old Honda, his face fell. Against my better judgment, he managed to convince me that a spin in his flashy car would make the night more interesting. Maybe all these poor judgment calls could be explained by the voice in my head that kept saying, “You’re so boring. You never do anything fun.” Maybe they could be explained by the glass of wine I had while waiting for Jay to arrive. Who knows.

Whatever my motives, I did have fun. I now have a slight bit more understanding of why people blow all their money on fancy little sports cars. We blew threw town, cruising the streets and showing off. He talked a mile a minute about all the things we could do that night. Every time he found the “perfect idea!” it would soon be replaced by a new “perfect idea!” Until he saw it. He almost gave me a heart attack when he screamed, “A largemouth bass! Whoa! I have to have that!” When I realized what he was talking about, I nearly choked trying to stifle my laughter. He had spotted one of those awfully gaudy Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish plaques that you mount up on your wall so that every time you walk by it, it belts some annoyingly mechanic, awfully punning song. It was in the storefront window of a nearby shop, which looked like it was about to close. But Jay had to have it.

By the time we parked and walked around to the shop, the owner was just closing up. Jay, with his irresistible charm, kindly explained to the store owner that he desperately needed the store to stay open for a few more minutes, and that he knew what he wanted and would be just a minute. The poor man looked at me, completely puzzled, but I just shrugged. Jay went on to explain that he just wanted to buy the Big Mouth Billy Bass. The owner informed him that another customer had just bought his last one. Jay went from nice and sweet high-energy to explosively angry high-energy in two seconds flat. Though Jay’s swift change in demeanor scared me, I did wonder for a fleeting second who the hell bought a Big Mouth Billy Bass at nine o’clock on a Friday night? Who the hell bought a Big Mouth Billy Bass? And then I remembered the guy standing next to me, who was still cursing the poor store owner. I pulled Jay away by the sleeve and half-dragged him back to the car, allowing the puzzled store owner to make his escape. On our walk back, he continued to let flow a stream of curse words, which I thought was a little uncalled-for, considering the fact that the Big Mouth Billy Bass is quite possibly the stupidest home decoration in the entire world.

As we walked across the parking lot, Jay noticed a man a few spots away loading something into the trunk of his beat-up Oldsmobile. I couldn’t make out what the something was, but apparently Jay, in all his Big Mouth Billy Bass rage, did. He stormed over to the man to hassle him about his purchase. Jay made it to the Oldsmobile just as the customer closed his door. I watched as Jay screamed at him through his busted window. I remember the phrases “worldwide conspiracy against me” and “you don’t even deserve a Big Mouth Billy Bass.” The offending customer, with his torn tanktop and Confederate flag vanity plate, mustered up all his contempt for the handsome, well-dressed man screaming in his face, and gave him a resounding, “Whatever, dude,” before pealing out of the parking lot.

Jay stormed back over to me and snapped, “Get in the car.” I quickly got in because being stuck in a car with a crazy man is one thing, but being stuck alone in a deserted parking lot off Grimes Street is quite another. I turned to him and began my spiel: “So can you take me back to my car now? I mean, this has been fun and all, but I’m really tired now. And I have to be up early for… church… tomorrow.”
“Yeah sure, but after I get my Big Mouth Billy Bass,” he replied.
“Are you serious, Jay? It’s just a fish. Let it go.”

When he braked hard for a stoplight, I recognized the car in front of us – the same beat-up Oldsmobile with a busted window. My disbelief manifested in my jaw dropping and my mouth forming a little “o.” O for Oh my God, this guy is insane.

“Listen, Jay. I’ll just get out here and call a cab or something. You can go on your little quest on your own. I think I’m done.” I started to open the door, but before I could, the light changed, and Jay slammed the gas. The Oldsmobile did not move as quickly, and we bounced off his bumper. When the offending customer looked in the rearview mirror and recognized Jay and his apoplectic fury, he floored it with a huge engine rev. Within seconds, we were racing down the street, chasing after the Oldsmobile. Although I was terrified of the lunatic sitting next to me, the hilarity of my little scenario did not elude me. I was involved in a high-speed chase over a Big Mouth Billy Bass. Absolutely ridiculous.

The chase lasted only a few blocks, but it seemed like I fearfully clutched the door handle for ages. The offending customer was apparently inexperienced in the world of drag-racing and high-speed chases. Maybe he was undeserving of the Big Mouth Billy Bass, as Jay had charged. The offending customer braked hard to avoid colliding into a minivan that was legally crossing the intersection that he was very illegally flying through. He fishtailed just in time for Jay to fly through the intersection and slam into the driver’s side of the Oldsmobile straight on.
I sat frozen in the car, shocked that my Friday night had ended like this when it could have just ended with Gregory Peck. After another eternity, I climbed out of the car and surveyed the damage.

Luckily, I managed to escape with only bruises across my chest where the seatbelt had locked up on impact. Jay managed to escape with a minor concussion and a jail sentence, which I could guess will only make him crazier. Big Mouth Billy Bass escaped in one piece, though it was annoyingly stuck on a too-deeply-toned endless loop of “Dooonnn’t Wooorrrryyy.” Bob Marley probably turned over in his grave that night. The offending customer barely escaped with his life. He was in the hospital for a week. I guess he learned his lesson about snatching a Big Mouth Billy Bass from underneath a lunatic’s nose. And I learned a lesson that my mother tried to teach me when I was in preschool: never get into a car with a stranger. Especially an overly charismatic, energetic, manic, narcissistic stranger.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Reading Week

So once again, I'm bored as hell and trying to fill up some time. Reading Week is useless for people like me. I study the day before the exam. That's my rule. Studying for an entire week? Yeah right. If you need to study for 10 days for one exam, then you either weren't paying enough attention in class or you care too much. So if I haven't spent the week studying, what did I do? Answer: I was busy being pathetic. I sat on my ass for 5 days straight. I became even more attached to my computer than I already was. I have probably spent more time with this computer than any other person in the world. Sad, I know.

I discovered youtube.com, which was created by the same evil genius who created the rest of the internet. His internet has sucked us in and made us completely dependent upon it. When he decides the moment is right, he will exercise one of two options:
1. Launch a secret internet program that is so absolutely amazing that we will all be instantly enthralled. We will be so mesmerized by the new internet that all production will cease. We will be unable to go about our daily lives, leaving him free to take over the world.
2. Completely wipe out the internet. He will remove every last trace of the internet and all of its wonderful technology. We will no longer be able to communicate, read stupid chain e-mail, watch ridiculous videos, check the sports scores, read movie reviews, or any of the millions of mindless things we do on the internet every day. We will all fall into a deep depression over our loss. We will be unable to go about our daily lives, leaving him free to take over the world.

So that's his plan. Anyway, youtube.com is pretty cool. People can post videos on the domain and you can watch whatever you want. Some things are really stupid, like the people who think they are going to make it big in Hollywood by recording themselves singing Backstreet Boys and posting it on the internet. There are also a lot of videos of TV shows that people record and post. This, my friends, is where I got sucked in. I have an addiction disorder. I am addicted to Degrassi: The New Generation. It's pathetic, I know. I have spent an average of 2 hours per day watching Degrassi. That amounts to about 5 episodes per day. I've watched all the way through seasons one and two. I plan on launching to season three tomorrow. Pathetic, I know.

I spent an additional three hours per day watching TV and/or movies. I spent about 3 hours in the morning and 2 hours at night talking to friends online. I spent about 2 hours eating. And I spent another four hours checking e-mail, surfing the web, and sometimes, just staring at my wall. Pathetic, I know. That leaves 11 hours for sleep. This is just a rough estimate, of course. Some days, I only got 10 hours of sleep! So anyway, after 5 days of this, I nearly went crazy. On the sixth day, I finally got my ass up. I actually did my hair and stuff. And I studied. Woo, boy. I went crazy. I finally snapped out of it, so that I could study. I'm living life on the wild side. All that studying helped my exams though.

So 2 exams down, and 3 to go. Let me comment on my first two exams. I felt like I was in high school again. This overmanagement is getting a bit out of hand. Exams are assigned in special rooms. We can't have them in the lecture halls, because that would mean we would be sitting too close to each other. So we have them in the smaller classrooms, with the old-fashioned desks-in-a-row thing. Then they assign you a number, which corresponds to a specific desk. Yes, assigned seating. During the whole exam, you have to keep your ID card on the top right corner of your desk so that during the exam, they can come around and check it and mark you off on their little clipboard. During the two-hour exam, no one is allowed to leave the classroom for the first hour or the last 15 minutes. If you need to use the restroom, you have to sign out when you leave and sign in when you return. And you have to leave your bags lined up against the wall, not next to your desk. WHOA. I wanted to stand up during the whole exam and say, "I'm not a moron. I'm an adult." But that's simply not done in Singapore.

On a funnier note, I got assigned to seat #1 in two of my exams. Apparently, the English and Psychology departments think my last name is "Alyson."

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Birthday Bash

I'm 20! That's crazy. I don't feel any older, yet "twenty" sounds so much older than "nineteen." There's something about the transition from 12 to 13 and then 19 to 20. Maybe we just think these transitions are important because being a teenager sucks. You turn 13, and your youthful ignorance shouts, "Yes! I'm finally a teenager." And probably the next day, you realize it's not all that it's cracked up to be. So when you turn 20, your youthful ignorance shouts, "Yes! I'm not a teenager anymore." Hopefully I won't find out next week that your twenties suck. I'm pretty sure they don't. At least not as much as the teens do.

Anyway, my birthday was pretty cool. I celebrated prematurely because a lot of people were away on vacation on my actual birthday. We started off with a nice Singaporean Italian meal. Pasta Fresca is pretty decent Italian considering, but still, it's not the same. I had some pretty excellent cannolis. But they were made out of bread instead of noodles, so it was sort of like an Italian burrito. Sounds gross, but tastes great. The Rum and Coke Janine made me probably helped in that review. I got cool presents from cool people. That was happy. Janine et al gave me an awesome card with lots of embarassing pictures of me on it. It was very cute. My birthday advice included "Don't try to outdrink Janine: you will LOSE" and "Beware of *Natalie*... you don't like fluids, but she likes to share them!" Haha... inside jokes are so funny to me and so boring to my hypothetical readers.

Our next stop post-dinner was karaoke. The first place was a bust. Their version of karaoke was to sit around their bar singing to the radio. No song list, no microphone, nothing. So we bounced and headed to our next stop in Boat Quay. That was slightly more entertaining.

The song list:
"Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia - Natalie, May, and yours truly
"Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!" by the Venga Boys - Natalie and May attempted this song but didn't entirely pull it off. That's because this is a difficult song to sing and it's lame.
"We Will Rock You" by Queen - Chirag made a valiant effort with the verses, and both he and Erik chimed in for the chorus. Most excellent.
"Eternal Flame" by the Bangles - My solo debut. Might I say, I rocked. JG tried to sing too, but he didn't know the words. I think he got some nice harmony in, though.

There were a few more songs, but I don't remember them. Seeing us we were the only ones singing in the whole place, I'm sure we annoyed the hell out of the Singaporeans. We ran out of time though and left before JG and I could sing our songs. Too bad; it would have been great. We so kindly left Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys for the rest of the bar to enjoy.

Next stop: dbl o. Surprised? You shouldn't be. I'm so sick of that damn club. But it was the closest club around, and nobody wanted to take any taxis anywhere else. And since some people skipped out on the karaoke, it was an easy place to meet up after. I'm proud of myself for not getting completely smashed. In fact, I was quite sober by the time I got home. It was a relatively uneventful night, though. I've had better stories. But it was still fun. Being the total loser I am, I pooped out first. Despite being the birthday girl, I was utterly exhausted. I wasn't even dancing anymore. I was just standing in the middle of the dance floor kind of bobbing up and down. I mean, I guess it looked similar to some guys I've seen "dancing." But still, it was painful. No rhythm, no dancing, and no vision as I was pretty much sleeping on my feet. Janine saw me and was like, "Hey, are you ready to go or something?" Friends are cool. They leave the club early with you when you're too tired to stand up. It wasn't even that early, though. The club closed a half hour later.

So fun birthday. Drinking, dancing, singing... there's not much more a girl could ask for.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Cambodia

This past weekend I went to Siem Reap, Cambodia. Here’s a little background information. Siem Reap is the town closest to Angkor Wat, the giant ancient temple complexes of Cambodia. It’s not a very big town at all, but they get a lot of tourism because of the temples. Although Cambodia is much safer now that the Khmer Rouge regime has fallen, it’s still extremely poor. They’ve had economic growth that all comes from the tourism industry. Before 1998, when the country was still closed to outsiders, only about 200,000 tourists visited Cambodia in the entire year. Since 1998, over one million tourists have visited Cambodia each year. Being a poor, underdeveloped country, Cambodia lacks the infrastructure to support this influx of people. There’s a huge amount of construction (roads, sewage, etc) in Siem Reap in an attempt to better prepare the town for tourists. There are also giant projects underway to restore the temples in and surrounding Angkor Wat. This is why it’s fairly expensive to go to Cambodia. The fees to get in and out of the country (US$20-25) go towards the development of the infrastructure and the fees at the temples (US$20 per day) go towards restoration. The Cambodian currency, the riel, is practically worthless. One US dollar is equal to 4000 riel. Because of this, US currency goes a long way in Cambodia. Nearly every transaction is made with US cash, both in big hotels and in small sidewalk or market stalls. They don’t use US coins though, so change is made in riel. Cambodia still has a huge amount of problems to deal with, including poverty, AIDS, poor health care, and a large amount of unexploded land mines still hidden in the countryside. There are charities set up by NGOs (non-governmental organizations) all over Siem Reap. One man (I think Australian, maybe?) has set up a children’s hospital, and every Saturday night, he takes the night off to give a free cello concert, during which he talks about his experiences with the children in Cambodia. There is no charge for the concert, but he asks for donations for his hospital. There’s also a restaurant where the food is cooked by teens and young adults as a development program to teach them job and language skills. So there are a lot of sad things in Cambodia, but there are a lot of people working to do something about it. By the way, anything Cambodian is called “Khmer.” That’s the name of the ethnic group that primarily composes Cambodia. So it’s khmer food, khmer language, khmer dancing, etc. That was enough of a history/humanitarian lecture, so I’ll move on to tell about my weekend.

When we first got to Cambodia, I was miserable. I had to wake up at 3:30 am to catch a taxi to the airport for our 6 am flight. This was after going to bed at midnight so I could finish an assignment before I left. So I didn’t go to sleep, really. I just took a nap. We checked into our guest house and promptly went to bed. After sleeping much of the morning away, we arranged for a driver to take us to lunch, a temple, and a floating market. Of course, lunch was our first priority, and it was pretty good. When we left to get back into the van, there were 4 or 5 adorable children begging us for money. We all gave them some money, and when other kids saw that, they ran over too. We ended up just getting in the van and driving away. We just don’t have enough dollars to give to all the children of Cambodia. It was heartbreaking to drive away while they all stared at us through the window.

To get to our next destination, we had to drive through a lot of residential areas in the countryside. I sat in the front seat and got a good view of everything and saw a lot of interesting things. Babies and toddlers are almost always naked. Little boys run around in just shorts, and little girls in just skirts. I saw kids running errands on a parent’s bike, so they sat on the bar instead of the seat in order to reach the pedals. I saw a 12 or 13 year old kid driving his little brother on a motorbike. I saw four guys crammed onto one motorbike. I saw kids playing in a well. I saw a lot of people lying in hammocks trying to escape the heat. Some of the houses were set up where 4 or so houses were set back from the road and one small wall-less building would be right on the edge of the road. This building would sometimes have things for sale, like drinks. Sometimes what seemed like a whole extended family would be hanging out in there and socializing. Pretty interesting stuff. There were a good number of cows in the residential area, but there were far more in the more rural areas. Right now is Cambodia’s dry season, so it’s very dusty and dirty. The cows would be roaming the fields, looking for grass. And then we would see one big mud hole, and the water buffaloes were often neck-deep in it. It was a drive with plenty of sights to see.

We arrived at Beng Mealea, an old overgrown temple in ruins. First, we asked the people nearby if they had a bathroom we could use. We ended up paying 500 riel to pee into a hole in the ground. But hey, they can use 12.5 cents more than I can. We went up to the temple ruins, and it was amazing. There were guides there who helped us climb through them and explore. There was a lot of rubble and a lot of trees and roots taking over the stone. But there were still some hallways and windows that were intact. It was tough (and dangerous!) climbing, but well worth it. And, of course, I took way too many pictures. But it was beautiful. Important lesson to learn: nature will eventually reclaim its property. The pictures of this place are a lot better than the words describing it, so I’ll stop with this topic now. Before we left, we stopped at a roadside stand and got Cokes. The little girl serving us was maybe 8 or 9 and when she handed me the Coke, she said, “Madame,” and she said it again when she gave me a straw. It was very cute. On the way to our next destination, we had to slam on the brakes a few times to dodge cows in the road. It happens.

After the temple, we drove a ways to a floating village. This village is a bunch of houseboats and a few houses on stilts on a huge lake called the Tonle Sap. We took a boat out there. Just outside the village, when we could see everything but weren’t actually in it, our boat broke down. While we were waiting for our guide and driver to fix it, three kids from the village rowed out to beg us for money because tourists in the middle of a lake is like shooting fish in a barrel. Two kids rowed over in a small canoe-like boat. Another kid rowed over in a bucket. Yes, a bucket. It was a shallow round basin tub-thing. As he rows over, we can see that it’s filling with water. And then the entire thing just slowly gets sucked under water. I start freaking out thinking the kid is going to lose his bucket and drown. Then he just stands up. Turns out the lake is only 4 feet or so deep. So he stands up, empties the bucket, puts it upright, climbs back in, and paddles the rest of the way to collect his money. It was hilarious. We moved on to the village and went through seeing the sights. We stopped at the village market and did some souvenir shopping. About halfway through my shopping, I look up and through one of the slats in the wall, and I see a crocodile. A real live crocodile. I didn’t realize that the whole time I was shopping, there was a 20-foot long box full of crocodiles in the water about 5 feet from me. They had a crocodile farm. Scary, but cool. So we checked out the crocodiles, finished out purchases, and headed back. We managed to catch sunset on our boat ride back, so it was very pretty.



That night we went to a restaurant called Madame Butterfly. It’s French and Cambodian food and is owned by French dude. It was pretty good, though slightly typical food. On the way home we had to walk through a rainstorm. We got soaked. We also had a few Cambodian guys offering us rides. Fun stuff.

The next morning, we ended up hanging around the lobby of the guest house until nearly noon. We were waiting for a tour guide who never came. When he finally did, we headed to the Angkor-Thom temple complex. Our first stop was a small temple. Our guide explained the frescos to us and what the pictures represented. It was pretty cool, and once again, good pictures. We got back in the van and headed to lunch. We ate at a place right outside the main temple, Angkor Wat, so they were all ready to sell us tourists their wares. We sat down and a 12 year old girl who told us her name was Princess Diana served us. As soon as we sat down, children started to crowd around us to sell musical instruments, figurines, hats, books, and more. I bought a few things, but then I just didn’t have enough change to buy anything more. At its peak, we had 20 kids crowded around our one table. It was insane. The kids’ favorite selling tactic is to ask you where you’re from and tell you the capital of that place, in hopes that they will impress you into buying something. One girl told John the US capital (Washington, D.C., guys) and John said he would buy something if she told him the capital of Idaho. I yelled at him for being a jerk, but the girl was quick, and she said, “How about the capital of the US and the capital of Madagascar?” I made him agree to the deal, and the girl promptly told us the capitals, though I don’t even know if she was right because I don’t know the capital of Madagascar. He bought it though.

Next we headed to Angkor Wat, the big famous temple. It was really interesting, and we walked around taking lots of pictures again. The others climbed up the temple and looked at it from the top. I’m a bit nervous with heights and with stairs that are 4 inches wide but a foot tall, so I didn’t join them. Once again, the pictures describe this better, so I’ll move on. When we left, we walked through a market. After 10 minutes of women screaming “Lady!” at me, I decided I had had enough. We headed back towards the van, where we were accosted in the parking lot by 7 children. I had just bought some bracelets (15 for $1) in the market, and the most adorable kid in the world was trying to sell me the same bracelets (10 for $1). I told him no and kept walking, but he followed me.

Cute Kid: Lady, you want bracelets?
Me: No.
Cute Kid: Where you from?
Me: The United States.
Cute Kid: The capital of United States is Washington DC.
Me: Good job, honey, but I don’t need those bracelets.
Cute Kid: Yes, you do. You buy.
Me: No, I already bought bracelets.
Cute Kid: You didn’t buy these bracelets.
Me: Yes, I did. I bought bracelets exactly like that.
Cute Kid: You didn’t buy 10.
Me: Well, I bought 15.
Cute Kid: You didn’t buy 20.

These kids are heartbreakers. I didn’t buy the bracelets because I didn’t have another dollar bill and I knew the kid would keep the change from my twenty. So I got in the van and left and nearly started crying when the kid just stared at me. Oh, while this interchange was occurring, another kid tried to sell a book to me for $20. It was the same book my friend had just bought for $4. I just laughed at him.

We headed on to another temple. We had to climb up this huge hill. We got to the top of the hill, and of course, there were three sets of scary stairs to climb up the temple, but I made myself do it. Then we sat on the top of the temple and watched the sunset. It was really pretty. Unfortunately, I didn’t think through the part where I would have to climb down the temple and the hill in the dark. I made it down the stairs while there was still some light, so that was good. Instead of braving the steep hill to get down in the dark, I found another path that is used for the elephants. (You can pay $15 to get an elephant to take you up the hill on a side path.) So me and all the other tourists, about 5 million of them, headed down the trail, constantly on the look-out for “mushy rocks.”

Back in the van, our guide asked us what we wanted to do. He suggested dinner at a good place. These kinds of suggestions are not uncommon. The guides/drivers typically get some sort kickbacks or commission by taking tourists to their friends’ restaurants. It was a nice place though. It was $12 for a buffet dinner and a show with traditional Khmer dancing. So we got tons of food and saw some people dancing around onstage. It was fun.

Some of our group went out to a bar, but I hung out at the guest house with Janine. Neither of us really felt like going out. We played with the owner’s kitten. I don’t remember her name because it was in Khmer, but the name translated to “Black Girl.” Also, I didn’t want to stay out late since we had to get up at 5:30 to catch our flight home. There are only three or four flights per week between Singapore and Cambodia, so our flight choices were limited.
The next morning we got up to leave and pay for our hotel, guide, trips, etc. It took quite a while to organize 10 people to pay their bill and get the right change back. The people at the guest house were so nice though. Their kitchen hadn’t opened yet, and they knew we had to go, so they made us to-go boxes of bread and jam for breakfast. It was so nice of them. So if any of you plan a trip to Cambodia, I recommend the Earthwalkers Guest House in Siem Reap. Write that down. We got to the airport early since that’s what you’re supposed to do. Except then we realized that there’s no need to be at this airport early. It’s so small that it’s one big building without any gates or anything. The plane lands, you walk down the stairs, and you walk across the landing strip to go inside. That’s it. The whole building is divided into two parts. One part is for checking in. Then you go through security and customs and the next part is one giant sitting area. There’s a store and a coffee stall. It was a long 2 hours wait. But we got on the plane and it was fairly empty so I got my own row. We got back to Singapore around noon, which gave me all day to write my psychology essay. So it was a great weekend and still productive. I think Cambodia might be my favorite place in Southeast Asia.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Dream Update

My boyfriend and I are walking along this rock-cliff thing overlooking a lake. While we're jumping around the rocks and goofing around, we see a guy a ways off fall off the cliff into the lake (it's only a 15-foot or so drop). Boyfriend plays hero and jumps in after the guy to save him. Although his efforts were quite honorable, the guy is fine. He didn't need any rescuing. Pleasantries are exchanged with Guy. Boyfriend climbs back up and is with me. We start to leave the rock cliff, and we have to climb back over some rocks to get back to normal ground. Boyfriend is in front of me a few steps. When I have to make a particularly big step up from one rock to another, I grab a fence (I don't know why a fence is there; plot device, I guess) to keep me steady. But when I pull on it, the fence falls over, throws me off balance, and I fall in the lake! The fence falls with me and lands over me. In the water, it's on top of me holding me down, so I can't swim up. My hand is tangled in the fence, and I can't get it out, so I can't swim away. I'm trapped and drowning. Boyfriend is trying to jump in and save me, but when my section of the fence fell, the rest of the fence got tangled and somehow formed a barrier between him and the lake. I'm still drowning! Guy swims over to help me, accompanied by my EMT friend. (I guess they were hanging out on the other side of the lake?) But they're taking forever to reach me, and I'm still drowning! I flail around a little while longer, and then...

I wake up. Right then. I'm going to have to yell at the writers in my brain. You do not just end a show at the intense part like that. It's suspenseful. It's even more suspenseful because I know that I'll never have that dream again, so I'll never know the ending. Damn you, dream writers.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Miscege Nation

This is a short story I wrote. Enjoy it because my creative juices only work about every 6 months. So you may not get another story. Here it is:


"Miscege Nation"


Last week on the way home from school Carmen called me a gringo. I went home and asked Mamí what a gringo was. Papí got very quiet and Mamí had that look like she will cry.
Yesterday on the way home from school Ronny called me a spic. I went home and asked Mamí what a spic was. Papí got very quiet and Mamí had that look like she will cry.
I don’t ask questions anymore.

Sometimes if all three of us are in a very good mood all at the same time, Mamí and Papí will tell me our story. Papí says he lived in Opa-locka all his life but when he was nineteen he moved into the city because he couldn’t stand living with his daddy, my granddaddy, anymore. Mamí says she lived in a village in México until she ran away to el Ciudad del México where she earned nickels as a waitress until she scraped up enough to cross the border but then she had to take a bus all the way around to Florida because her primo said she could live with him and his esposa in his apartamento in Miami.
She says ‘and then your Papí and I met and fell in love, but you can hear that story later when you’re older.’ And Papí jokes ‘just like that West Side Story’ and Mamí laughs her tinkle laugh but I’m confused because I learned in school that we live on the east coast.

Papí has a cowboy gun. I found it when I was where I wasn’t supposed to be. I was looking in his drawer for his binoculars he got from Granddaddy that he lets me use sometimes. I wanted to see if I could find jaguars in the alley or quetzals on the roof like the ones Mamí says are in the jungles of América del Sur. I see the gun and I get scared and shut the drawer and run to my room.
Then I remember the binoculars. But the butterflies Papí talks about are making me nervous so I decide to forget the quetzals and the jaguars until another day. So I play with my Suzie doll, the one Papí got me for my birthday that has skin whiter than mine and hair yellower than mine. I call Suzie a spic and she just stares at me so I call her a gringo and she just stares at me so I don’t know which one I’m supposed to call her.

There’s an angry knock on the door and Mamí goes to the door to look through the hole and she whispers ‘Ay, Dios mio, that dirty landlord again,’ and she crosses herself and takes a deep breath and opens the door. And he comes in with his fire red hair yelling about the rent and how he’s tired of it being late and he’s tired of asking her for it and why can’t she just pay up like everyone else. Mamí says ‘I’m sorry, Señor,” and he gets madder and redder and shouts that he does not speak any damn Spanish, thank you very much, and will she please remember that this is fucking America, not Mexico, so will she learn some goddamn English! I see Mamí’s eyes flash and then she’s screaming at him in Español and when she pushes his chest he grabs her arm and twists and with a gasp she stops screaming and he says quiet but hard, ‘Do not ever touch me again, you dirty spic whore.’ He shoves her away and leaves our apartamento and Mamí slams the door shut behind him. She breathes hard and bangs on the door one, two, three, four times fast and then she turns around and leans against it. When she sees that I am watching, she gets that look like she will cry.

When Papí comes home she tells him what the landlord said and what she said and what the landlord said back. She shows him the bruises wrapped around her wrist and he does not say a word and his face is stone.

Papí says very serious ‘I will take care of this’ and he looks just like the cowboys on the movies that he watches sometimes. Mamí gets that look like she will cry and she looks just like the beautiful señoritas on the Spanish soap operas that she watches sometimes.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Why Am I Awake at 7:30am on a Sunday?

Because of another nightmare, of course.

First, I’m in a soccer game. We’re losing, so it’s very realistic. The ball goes out of bounds, so I get it to throw it back in. For some reason, this big rock is half on, half off the field, so my solution is to just stand as close to the rock while I can to throw the ball in. When I throw it, it bounces too much, and just bounces off the girl I threw it to and goes back out of bounds. After I get bored of losing, I sit outside at a table with some of my other teammates. For some reason, there’s an old homeless man lying underneath our table sleeping. But it’s okay, we all know him. Maybe he’s our team mascot. I accidentally wake him up when I pull out a chair, so I say, “No, no, it’s okay, go back to sleep.” I sit down to talk to my teammates, and homeless man goes back to sleep.

Cut suddenly to me on a bridge made of logs tied together way high in the air over a small lake. I’m reading an e-mail (though I have no computer) from my friend Rachel, who, as usual, has asked me personal questions that I’m not willing to discuss in this public domain. As I consider my reply, the bridge suddenly breaks, and I fall 200 feet down into the water. (This is odd. I don’t know why I’m on a bridge. In real life, I have a phobia of high bridges precisely for this reason, and I avoid them as much as possible.) Anyway, I’m in the water, and for some reason, the things in my hands at the time of the fall have ended up in my mouth, and it’s choking me. I pull myself up onto a rock and sit there trying to get all the items and dirt out of my mouth. I pull out a large clump of grass and dirt, the e-mail (I know it's an inanimate object. It's a dream, okay?), and (for some strange reason) a Lifeteen pin. (Lifeteen is the name of the Catholic youth group I was a member of in high school.)

So now I’m sitting on the rock, mouth empty. I realize that the rock is in the middle of the lake and it’s getting dark very quickly. I don’t know what to do. (I also have a phobia of dark water. It creeps me out that I can’t see what’s in it. You never know what’s hiding underneath the surface.) I decide that with dark falling so fast, I better hurry up and swim across the lake before it gets pitch-black and I can’t see anything. (I also have a phobia of the dark – probably my biggest one.) This part of the lake is not that wide; I only have 100 feet or so to go. I recognize a rock on the other side of the lake that looks exactly like the rock that was partly on my soccer field earlier, and I realize this lake is what used to be the soccer field. So knowing the rock is there, I swim toward it, knowing that the rock marks the edge of the lake, just like it marked the edge of the soccer field. I swim for 3 seconds when I simultaneously see a flashlight and realize that I’m much more tired than I realize. There’s a girl waving a flashlight around, checking out the lake. I start calling out “HEY!” but I’m so tired and weak that it comes out like “hey” and she can’t hear me. I call out “hey” again and she looks around like she’s heard something but she doesn’t know what. This frustrating cycle repeats itself twice. I’m getting more tired. I slow down. I’m going under a little bit. I wake up.

It’s 7:30 and thanks to that little dream sequence, I can’t sleep anymore.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Heaven

Last night I discovered another name for heaven. It's called "the chocolate buffet at the Fullerton Hotel." For US$23.00, there was chocolate for 3 hours. The first table was stacked with chocolate cakes, cookies, mousses, candies, everything. That's where I started with a plate full of chocolate. The Fullerton chocolate cake was the most amazing thing I've ever tasted in my life. It was the richest, heaviest chocolate I've ever had. Amazing.

My next plate was from the chocolate fondue station. Marshmallows, strawberries, pineapple, cantaloupe, and a FOUNTAIN OF CHOCOLATE! So a whole plate full of that too. After eating that, I had to sit and rest for a while. I needed to digest to make room for more chocolate. So I met some people, had some good conversations, that sort of thing.

My third plate was going back to the cake/cookie/mousse table. Another plate full of mint chocolate cake and chocolate cream mousse and orange with white chocolate ganache was just what I needed. Then I had to rest again, so there were more big conversations. I actually met a lot of cool people. Yay for anti-social me! I was capable of carrying on a conversation with new people!

I finished off with some special kind of hot chocolate that had a "hint of caramel." Yummy, yummy, and it went down smooth.

So all in all, I think it was one of the best nights of my life. I don't think I've ever eaten that much chocolate. I wish my brother could have been there. We could have appreciated it together. I think I'll have chocolate buffet invading my dreams for the next couple weeks.

Kuala (not Koala) Lumpur

We left for Kuala Lumpur (referred to by everyone here as KL) early Friday morning. I mean early. We were in a taxi at 6 am. We took a really nice bus that had chairs that reclined almost all the way. I usually don’t sleep on car trips, but I slept from about 8:30am until 1:30pm. I’m finally perfecting the college student’s art of sleep. So I woke up well rested in KL traffic. We finally arrived, and it turned out that the girl who planned our trip had no idea where our hostel was. That was fun. They ran around begging someone to let us use their computer so she could check the letter they e-mailed to her. So we finally made it there, and got fairly nice rooms. Janine and I shared a double bed, so there was plenty of room. The room was kind of gross (lots of mold) but the bathrooms were very clean, so that’s a big plus. We got settled and then set out. We walked down the street to the main road, and within an eighth of a mile, we had three different cars full of guys whistling and yelling at us. That’s what happens when five American girls travel together.

After lunch, we went to this huge mall. It was amazing; it rivaled the Mall of America. Well, I’ve never been to the Mall of America, but I think it rivals it. We did a bit of shopping and then we went to Cosmo’s World, the indoor amusement park. I know, I know, we’re a bunch of big kids. But it was only 25 ringgits (US$6.75) so we couldn’t pass it up. We rode a bunch of rides – the Malaysian versions of the Top Spin, the giant swings, and a rollercoaster. Lots of fun. They wouldn’t let me wear my glasses though, so I was doing it all blind. That was a little scary.

We tried to go to a club that night, but they were playing really crappy music, so we left. Instead we went to this bar called Luna that was gorgeous. It had no roof so you could see out to the skyscrapers and the moon (hence “Luna”). When I put my hand down on the table, there was glass on it that embedded into my hand. I was going to try to pull a “oh my god there’s glass in my hand you better give me those drinks for free,” but it stopped bleeding by the time the server got back with a rag to wipe the table. Also, it’s Malaysia, not America. I don’t think they care about these things. It was a fun night though. We left after the old guys at the table next to us started buying us drinks.

Saturday we headed out to the Batu Caves. They’re these huge caves that have been turned into a Hindu temple. In front of the entrance is a giant golden Hindu statue. It’s HUGE, so we took pictures with it. Then we headed into the caves. First, you walk up 272 stairs to get to the first cave. On the way up, there are monkeys everywhere. They are so used to humans that they walk right up to you. That was a little creepy. There was a woman who kept putting her baby next to a monkey to take a picture. I didn’t think that was a very good idea. (When some of my friends were in another part of Malaysia, a monkey attacked one of the girls. It jumped on her back and scratched her all up.) So anyway, we went into the first big cave. There are some things in there: a souvenir shop of course, some Hindu statues, a couple roosters, lots of monkeys. And then you walk through that main part and to more stairs (but only 20 or so) and there’s a big area open to the sky where they built the actual temple. It’s a modern temple, just a small little building. Not like the big temples in Bangkok. But the caves are the coolest part, not the buildings.

We headed back to town and went up to the Petronas Towers. Getting there was funny because I was using Spanish pronunciation (like Pet-RO-nas), so between that and my accent, the taxi drivers didn’t know what I was talking about. Malays pronounce it Pet-ro-NAS. Anyway, they’re the tallest twin towers in the world. They look really nice, especially when they are lit up at night. We went up to the skywalk on the 42nd floor. It’s a little bridge that connects the two buildings, and it’s made of class so you can get a good view of the city. Unfortunately, the view is dirty and smoggy. It was still good to see though.

That night we met up with some Germans that one of the girls knew. They asked us to go to dinner with them, and we agreed. They kept saying they knew a place where we could eat a “dinner for kings.” It was just a little restaurant down the street from us in the middle of a long road of restaurants all the same. But it was a pretty good dinner with tons of food. Then we went to another club. At first the other girls were mad because they weren’t playing hip hop. But I LOVED it because it was 80s night! They played music from mostly the 80s and a little bit from the 90s. Madonna, Michael, Whitney. Awesome. So we danced and sang like crazy. And the Germans were funny. They really got into their dancing.

On Sunday, we went to Petaling Street, which is supposed to be the big shopping street in KL. It was disappointing though. I thought they would have some local artsy stuff, but it was just rows and rows of knock-off purses, bags, sunglasses, and shirts. Not really my thing. So after, Janine and I went to the National Art Gallery. Some of the exhibitions were really good, some were really not so good. So we spent a little while there, and then went back to pack and head to the bus station. And then it was a 6 hour bus ride home, and then we were back at NUS. The bus ride back was a lot longer than the way there. I couldn’t sleep at all. And we didn’t stop for food, so we were starving. Overall, it was a fun little weekend trip to KL.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I love my school

So now for a little school spirit. I love my school. UNC is awesome. And our basketball team this year was absolutely amazing. I won't pretend to know anything about basketball because I don't really. But I do know that I'm proud of our team this year. They made it further than everyone said they could. They played hard. They played well.

I did my best to follow the boys while I've been in Singapore. Not easy to do. I missed the first Duke game when a local bar advertised that they were replaying it later in the afternoon, and they lied. I made it to the second Duke game when ESPN replayed it in Asia at 4 pm. The rest of my basketball information came from random updates from friends. So I may not have seen that many games, but I'm fully aware of the incredble accomplishment this season was. So once again, I'm proud of our team.

Adam Lucas wrote a great article for the DTH about our team's amazing season.

And while I'm at it, the Anti-Duke Manifesto explains why Duke sucks so much.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Growing Up is Hard to Do

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde


It sucks to grow up. I think the hallmark of growing up is when you realize that shit happens, and not just on the news, but to you too. Some of us are forced to learn this too early, which is incredibly sad. I would say, "The world isn't fair," but I think we all already know that. I think you've grown up when you finally shake off that youth myth of invincibility. You've grown up when you realize that there's nothing particularly special about you when disease, violence, and death are concerned, because they strike blindly. You've grown up when you realize that you've outgrown the sheltered little world that your parents created for you. If you know these things, congratulations, you're an adult. Sucks for you.

The important part of all this growing up is to recognize that you're not the only one with all these depressing insights. You're not the only one who got a swift slap in the face from the World while it screamed at you, "Wake UP!" You're not the only one who had Bad Things happen to them.

I don't want to get into a huge theological debate, so I'm leaving that part out. But I will be cliche enough to say that I do believe that Bad Things happen for a reason. Maybe it's to force us to grow up. Maybe it's so that we wake up when we get that slap in the face. The events of our lives, the good and the bad, shape who we are. Make sure that those Bad Things make you a better person in the end. I hated those thirteen months and I was miserable the entire time, but I would not change a thing if I had the opportunity. Because of them, I learned about who I am and who I wanted to be. It's important for me to see how I grew from that experience and to recognize that I did it. I made it through. And I'm better in the end for it, too. That's growing up.





I am so proud of you. You are an amazing person.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Sharing Your Feelings is So Overrated

My friend says that I need to write more blogs because he's bored. He's the one with insomnia, so he writes a lot. I, however, am beginning to think I have hypersomnia. That mixed with schoolwork and a general apathy towards anything other than my music, chatting, and surfing the net means I don't write a lot.

I also say that when I'm in moods like this, reading my writing isn't fun. He disagrees. He says that he writes depressing shit all the time, and people still read it. I call that morbid curiousity and sadism, not "fun." Also, as much as he says he hates people reading his secrets, I think he likes it. He keeps writing it, doesn't he? I, on the other hand, have a hard time sharing emotions. I suppress emotions. I'm an emotion-suppressor. It took me years of training to be that way. Nearly 20, actually, and I'm still going strong. So no, I don't want to share my emotions with a whole bunch of strangers. Or friends, for that matter. See, even as I say that, I know I'm lying. I want everyone to know and feel bad for me. That's what I really want. But since I know that won't happen, I'm not spilling.

And when I actually do share emotions, I'd rather focus on stupid surface issues rather than going deep down and actually confronting my problems. Yep, I live in denial. Freud could use me for a case study. Well, as long as he keeps the sex part out. That guy was way too much into sex.

My mom, sisters, nephew, and brothers-in-law are in LA right now. They're going to watch my brother-in-law's half/stepbrother while he performs on American Idol. Yes, I'm slightly related to a guy on American Idol. Watch out for Bucky Covington. He made it to the Top 11. And you don't have to tell me, I know he needs a haircut. But he rocks, and he made it to AI, and you didn't. And no, my brother-in-law is not Bucky's twin, he's his stepbrother. He's less redneck than Bucky, but only slightly. While you're at it, watch out this week for my family, too. They're all there.

And the next person who tells me how lucky I am to be here is going to get shot. Well, maybe not, but they will get a resounding "Fuck you." And no, I don't want to discuss how I feel about that.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

My Brain is Messed Up

I'm becoming more and more convinced that my brain is messed up.

Dream #1:
A few weeks back, I had a horribly scary nightmare. I dreamt that because of global warming, one half of the world had sunk into a giant crater filled with lava, and the edges of the crater were slowly crumbling into the lava, like a sandcastle moat on the beach when the tide's coming in. So anyway, me, my dad, my brother, and my boyfriend were all huddled at a shelter. An official announcement came over the loudspeaker saying that our shelter was going to fall into the crater and we would all die in five minutes. I started sobbing to my dad because I wasn't going to be able to tell my mom and sisters goodbye before we died. I woke up crying.

Dream #2: Last week, I dreamt that I was an alcoholic. My husband was trying to get me to face and accept my problems, so he sat across from me at the kitchen table and placed a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of pills in front of me. But he was too late, because a little bit after that, the police came to take away my children. I took my baby out of her crib, but the police wouldn't let me carry her down the stairs because I was drunk. So I handed her to her big brother who was all of 6 or 7 and told him to take care of her. Then I woke up.

Dream #3: A few days ago, I dreamt that a monster was chasing me around the library. He cornered me on the stairs, but I managed to slip by him. I ran through the main library and hid in a little room behind the checkout counter. I was crouching under a counter, and while I watched, the door knob turned, and ... I woke up.

Dream #4: Okay, this one was scary. Which is weird because the monster-in-the-library one didn't scare me all that much, but this one did a lot. Me and four other people were hiding out in this town (I don't know why). We were in stealth-mode and being all incognito because we knew that if anyone found out who we were, the whole town would turn against us. (I don't know why). So we're hiding in this little room, trying to listen to what's going on in the main room, where there's a town meeting. We can hear through the paper-thin walls... there was a guy in the center of the room, screaming at the top of his lungs. The townspeople were gathered around him, chanting. Apparently they were tattooing this guy against his will as some sort of ritual thing. Just as I realized this, a big blond bouncer-type guy sees us, and we all run for it. UNC Erik makes a cameo appearance as the fifth person in my stealth-team, but he manages to run a lot faster than us and is way ahead. So then I'm scared because I'm not sure if he got caught or just outran us. The two other nameless, faceless guys fall way behind as Louise (another cameo!) and I outrun them. I look at Louise with terror in my eyes, and then I wake up.

So what the hell is going on? I wish I knew. If anyone out there has any dream interpretation skillz, please lend them to me. Also, wish me luck for nightmare-free nights.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Mid-semester Break: Part 2, Chiang Mai

So this is what we did on the second half of our spring break to Thailand. It was Janine, Rahul, Erik, Brad, and me. All sorts of excitement!! Read on!

Wed, Feb 22
We made it to Chiang Mai and found ourselves a nice little guest house. It was a good deal, and we got our own beds and our own bathroom with hot water! We spent the day walking around Chiang Mai, trying to find the day market. We never did. We found the flower market, though. I don’t really know why you need an entire market for flowers. That night we went to the night market to shop for our trekking trip. We had decided to go on a 3-day, 2-night trekking trip in the mountains, but we hadn’t brought any supplies with us, not even tennis shoes. So we bought a lot of stuff. After the market, we went to watch Muay Thai boxing. It’s basically normal boxing with a traditional Thai dance that each competitor performs before s/he fights. It was kinda gross. Boxing isn’t really my thing, and the boys insisted that we sit in the very front, so there were a couple times I felt sweat drops hit me. That was disgusting. But there was one really good match. A girl in pink kicked some guy’s butt. Janine insists that the loser was also a girl, but I still don’t believe her. Trust me, this person did not have one thing about him to suggest he was female. Anyway, the girl in pink was smaller and still beat the crap out of him. It was amazing.

Th, Feb 23
We started off our trekking trip in the mountains of northern Thailand, about an hour outside of Chiang Mai. Our group consisted of the 5 of us exchange students, a young couple from Israel, and 3 women from Belfast. Our trekking guide was Singh. We took a pickup truck (this truck has two benches along the sides and a roof but no windows) up to a first destination. It was about a twenty minute hike up to a waterfall. By the time we got to the top, I was beginning to wonder if this trekking thing was for me. But the waterfall was gorgeous, and I took off my shoes and socks and jumped around for a while. I have an obsession with running water. We hiked back down, ate lunch at a roadside shop, and got back into the pickup to go further up. We got out and hiked for an hour and a half or two hours. It was hard work. It’s the beginning of the dry season, so the trails were dry and the dirt was loose. A lot of people slid and fell because the dirt slid right from under our feet. Erik fell off the side of the trail at one point, and he was really lucky there was a think clump of bamboo trees there to catch him. Otherwise, he would have fallen about 30 feet nearly straight down. We finally descended down into the first village. On our way down, we could see steps carved into the sides of the mountain where they grow rice during the wet season. A few roosters, hens, baby chicks, and pigs greeted as when we entered the village. We spent the afternoon hanging out, recovering from the hike, and exploring the village. It was tiny – there were only about 20 houses. We found the shower; it was a mini waterfall in the river that was created when someone placed hollow bamboo shoots at a strategic location. We changed into warm clothes when dark fell and ate dinner. The Israelis were funny. They were complaining about the lack of meat in our meal and kept suggesting that we kill one of the roosters to add in. After dinner we joined another tour group down the hill. They had a guitar and were singing for a while. Then we played a game where if you lost, the trekking guide for that group would put a spot of charcoal ash on your face. We all ended up with black sooty faces, but it was a lot of fun. Then we headed off to bed – blankets on top of bamboo platforms with mosquito nets over them.

Fri, Feb 24
We woke up to roosters crowing. I hate roosters. We ate breakfast and set out for our long trek. The scenery in the mountains reminded of a really hot and dry summer at home. The hardwoods were a lot alike; you just have to replace the bamboo with pine trees. The boys took off up the mountain and Janine stayed close to them. The Israelis and the Irish were way behind me. So I ended up in the middle, more or less alone. It didn’t bother me, though, and I actually enjoyed it. I was kind of in a loner mood, and the woods make me get all introspective. But there were a couple times I got scared when I thought I was lost because I couldn’t see anyone in front or behind me. But it was fun. We hiked up a mountain, down it, a little ways up, and then down again into an elephant camp. We rested and ate lunch while the trainers cleaned the elephants and strapped benches to their backs. Then we got on the elephants! We sat on the little bench with our feet resting on the elephant’s back/neck. It’s really scary riding an elephant when it’s that big on 2-foot-wide trails on a steep mountainside. The mommy elephant behind me had a 2-month-old baby elephant walking along with her. So cute. So we rode the elephants almost all the way to the second village, which was a bit bigger than the first. It had a wide river that we went swimming and bathed in. I didn’t stay in long. That mountain water is freezing. Then we ate dinner, when the Israelis once again talked about killing one of the pigs for extra meat. After dinner, we played another charcoal spot game with our tour guide, Singh. We tried teaching them games too, but Singh and the Israelis were having difficulty with the English, and we only knew mostly word games. So instead we went down to the other group’s campfire again and sang songs. At some point, Singh, who was by this point pretty drunk, got the guitar and started singing a song to the tune of “I Shot the Sheriff.” It went, “I shot the tourist…. But I didn’t shoot the trekking guide.” That was hilarious. But then we crashed. We were exhausted from our hard work.

Sat, Feb 25
Saturday we were all happy because the third day meant no more walking! Instead, we floated down the river back towards our pickup location on a bamboo raft. That was intense. Imagine standing on a piece of wood while floating through class 2 rapids and around giant rocks. Rahul fell off at one point and landed on a huge rock, and I was genuinely worried about him. I just wasn’t able to express my concern because as soon as our raft guide (whose English vocabulary consisted of “Left!” and “Right!”) saw him on the rock, he started laughing. I don’t just mean laughing. I mean deep, giant belly laughs coming out of this tiny old man. It was the funniest thing I’d seen that trip, and I just started laughing too. Luckily, he was okay, just a little wet. We ended with one last big rapid and went up to a tiny riverside restaurant and lodge. Except not really. Don’t think of this as a “restaurant.” Our guide went in with the food he had brought and used their pots to cook our lunch. And then we headed back down the mountain in the back of the pickup. Unfortunately, the first 45 minutes of the trip down is on a dirt road. Remember what I said about it being the dry season? I spent the whole time with my face in my shirt and my eyes squeezed shut, trying not to breathe in clouds of dirt. By the time we got to the bottom, my skin was brown. I looked like I had a real tan. It was disgusting. When we got back to the guest house, I had to shower 3 times to get it all off. (It didn’t help that I hadn’t really showered in three days.) After finally getting clean, we headed off for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. It wasn’t the best Mexican food (c’mon, we were in Thailand), but it was decent. And it’s really hard to find Mexican in Asia. Then we checked out the night market and did some souvenir shopping. We didn’t stay up late though. Three days in the mountains is rough.

Sun, Feb 26
There’s no rest for the travelers. We woke up early again to go to Thai cooking school! Our first stop was the market. Our guide explained to us what all the different ingredients were. A lot of them were things that I don’t think I’ll be able to find outside of Asia. She bought all of the ingredients we needed to make our dishes, and then we headed over to the school. My first task was to make a red curry, which I did by pounding the heck out of all the ingredients in a mortar. I don’t know how I will find a mortar and pestle at home. Oh well. I also made coconut soup, Phad Thai, ginger chicken, Thai beef salad, and banana steam cakes. And we got to eat everything! It was delicious. And we got to keep a recipe book that had all the recipes in it, not just ours. So when I come home, I can cook a 6-course meal for all of you. ;) We spent nearly all day there cooking, so by the time we got back to the hotel, packed and checked out, it was time to head to the airport. And after another delay, we got back to school around 1 am! It was a long spring break, but a lot of fun and totally worth it.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Mid-semester Break: Part 1, Bangkok

Here's a chronicle of the events of mid-semester break in Thailand. It was a long, but fun, ten days. Lots of experiences and lots of drama. This is the first installment, "Bangkok," or "How I Got Swindled Left and Right." Stay tuned for part 2, "Chiang Mai," or "Thai People and Elephants are Lots of Fun."

Th, Feb 16
We left for Bangkok after midnight, when we were supposed to leave around 10:30. Our plane was delayed twice. We finally got into Bangkok and asked a tourist desk how to get to our hostel (taxi) and about how much it would cost (150 baht = <$4). We found a taxi who practically pushed us in because he was loading us in at a spot that was for drop-offs only – and he did this right in front of three policeman. So before we left, he paid off the cops. Welcome to Thailand. He didn’t speak any English except for "Good music!" (remember that; you'll need to know it in a few sentences), and we only had the English translation of our destination, so he stopped and asked a flight attendant leaving the airport to translate. We were just about to pull of again when he said “400 baht.” We said no, 150, and he promptly proceeded to flip out. He was screaming at us and waving his taxi license in our face as if we should pay extra because our driver had a license. Right. We were screaming at him to just pull over and let us out. We finally settled on 200 baht, and we were on our way. 60 seconds later, the driver cranks up the music and starts dancing to American 80s hits (good music!). Talk about mood swings. So we get to the hostel and there’s a bit of a problem. We booked for Thursday night, but he had us down for Friday night. He blamed it on us. When we reserved online, it asked what time we were getting there. We said “Friday, 1 am.” So instead of booking us for Thursday night, he booked Friday. Don’t ask me why he thought we wouldn’t need a place to sleep between 1 am and dawn. And then he said, “Oh, you guys are Americans, aren’t you? See, we use the 24-hour clock here.” Also, don’t ask me why he thinks that makes a difference. I understand the 24-hour clock. That’s why we said we would get there at 0100. Still haven’t figured that guy out. Anyway, it worked out alright because he had two rooms (on the fifth floor with no elevator) left. We got a decent night’s sleep at 3am.

Fri, Feb 17
So we had to switch hostels because they didn’t have any extra rooms for our friends who were joining us that day. We went to Khao San Road, a very popular shopping and backpacking destination. There were backpackers everywhere – very, um, colorful people. By the time we got out of the other hostel, got across the city, found a new hostel, and got showered, it was already 3pm. We decided to go to the National Museum, but on the walk there, a man stopped us and told us that they closed at 4pm, and we wouldn’t have time to go. He talked to us for a little while, suggested some temples for us to visit, and then found us a really cheap tuk-tuk. (A tuk-tuk is a three-wheeled motorbike with a bench seat in the back that fits 2-3 people.) This was the first step of a huge swindle. First, the driver took us to a travel agency so we could book tickets to Chiang Mai later in the week. After much debate, we put down a deposit for a train ticket and trekking expedition that cost 4800 baht ($125). [Swindle, Part 2.] We found out the next day that other agencies were selling the same trip for 2000 baht. Next, the tuk-tuk driver took us to a temple. It was small and under construction. But, we still got to see a Buddha, so that was cool. Then he took us to a tailor – he showed us a receipt and said that if we look at the guy’s suits, then he gets free gas. Being the nice, gullible people we are, we agreed. [Swindle, Part 3] The tailor told us they sold Armani suits without the tags on them. Something about they make suits in Thailand for Armani, but they always keep some without sending them back to Italy. Right. At 10000 baht ($260), Janine and I decided suits were too expensive. Brad, on the other hand, thought it was a good deal. Yes, it’s good compared to custom-made suits in the US, but not so good when you’re in Thailand. We found out the next day that the same suits were made in other shops for 3000 baht ($80) and Brad was pissed. I still haven’t figured out why Brad bought the suit – he had already looked at other tailors and knew the cost. I guess he bought into the Armani thing. So getting duped, figuring out we got duped, and then complaining about it for the rest of the day was pretty much the extent of our first day in Bangkok.

Sat, Feb 18
We headed off first to fix our swindle. After quite a lot of arguing with the travel agent, we managed to get only the train ticket and not the trekking trip from the travel agency and only had to pay 200 extra baht ($5). She was pissed and kept yelling to us, "I come in on day off to help you," and "but I information you yesterday and you say you buy." [Author's note: I'm not a racist ass. This was just really funny. Trust me, that woman's English was amazing. Thai and English don't even use the same alphabet! And we all know Americans are self-centered jerks who don't feel the need to even attempt another language. Feel free to berate me for my (lack of) any foreign language skillz.] So the travel agency thing worked out okay. Brad, on the other hand, didn’t fare as well, and I didn’t really expect him to. But he got a suit, and it looked good, so I told him to just be happy with it. We shopped around for a little while in one of the malls. We rushed to get to Wat Arun, the Temple of Dawn, before it closed. We made it there for the late afternoon sunset, so it was really pretty. After that, we went to a restaurant called Cabbages and Condoms. It sounds dirty, but it isn’t. The restaurant was created by a local humanitarian, and a portion of the profits go to programs for AIDS awareness, population control, and development programs. It also had an amazing atmosphere – the entire first floor was an indoor garden with tables randomly in it and the whole place had stringed lights everywhere. And it was clean, which is great for Bangkok. The best part was the decorative flowers made of condoms and the mannequins wearing clothes made of condoms. They even gave out condoms instead of after-dinner mints and had a gift shop with all sorts of condom-related merchandise.After dinner, we headed to one of the main streets in the sex district. It’s a huge tourist destination, so there’s great street shopping outside. And plus, sex shows. We just wanted to check out what all the fuss is about. The taxi driver told us he would take us to a “great show for cheap,” and drove us well past the main road, down a dark alley, and stopped in front of a dark warehouse-style building that had a couple dozen slimy men hanging out in its parking lot. The guys jumped out, but Janine and I refused to get out of the car. We just sat there yelling at them to get back in and then we made the driver take as back to the main, well-lit road. Taxi drivers in Bangkok have a habit of not taking you where you ask to go. So we ended up back on the main street and just strolled down it, taking in the sights. We passed one place that advertised having “50 hot girls and a couple ugly ones.” The guys took a picture while one of the strippers held the sign up for them. Priceless. Another place told us we could go in for free and just pay for drinks. So we stopped in there, and it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. There were a whole bunch of bored-looking Asian chicks just standing around poles onstage. They were not even doing anything. Hell, even I can pole dance. Sort of. The woman who were deemed, um, less attractive were all doing tricks and stuff. It's like they had to prove that they should be there. So sad. One was smoking a cigar with her vagina. Absolutely disgusting, though impressive. It was kinda like a train wreck - you don't want to watch the gruesome parts, but you just can't help it. We were trying to drink our beers as fast as possible so we could hightail it out of there when a woman comes around asking us to pay for our drinks and then charged us 400 baht on top of that for the "show." I was like, "Oh hell no, I am not paying to watch the hot ones do nothing while being forced to watch the ugly ones do that shit." I guess she didn't want trouble from whities, so she just let us pay for the drinks on the premise that we had to leave immediately. I proceeded to chug the rest of my Heineken. We got out on the street and Janine had her Heineken with her. I was pissed when I realized that, duh, Thailand wouldn't have open-container laws. And if the did, nobody cares. Oh well. I still got tipsy.

Sun, Feb 19
We woke up early to meet our tour guide, who took us on a half-day tour of a floating market. On the way there, we stopped to see a sugar-refining “factory.” Factory is in quotes for a reason. It was a small, one-room, open air shack where a few old Thais were stirring coconut milk over heat until it solidified into sugar. It was pretty cool, but not really a factory. We continued on to the river and got in a long gondola-shaped motorboat, which took us to the market. The rivers and canals in Bangkok used to be comprehensive enough for the city to be nicknamed “the Venice of the East.” Today, most of the canals within the city have been filled and paved to make roads, but there are still some places where the nickname fits. This market and its surrounding area is one of those places. We wound through the canals, seeing people in their homes along the way. My words can’t do these places justice; you’ll just have to wait for the pictures. We arrived at the market and got off the boat because there’s a normal market surrounding the canals. They do this simply so that you pay them again to get another boat to take you up and down the canals. So we did that and started out looking at a distance, seeing the things the vendors had. There were both grounded shops and floating shops. The people in the landed shops had long hooks that they would grab your boat with when you tried to pass. They would pull you in and make offers for statues, photo albums, postcards, hats, all sorts of things. I bought a statue from one guy and obviously messed up with my bargaining: He said 1000 baht, and I said 500, and he immediately said “ok, ok!” When they agree that fast, you’ve messed up. But I bought it anyway because it’s also considered extremely rude to back out of a deal after you’ve already agreed to a price, and because a couple hundred baht really doesn’t matter all that much in the long run. We also saw boats selling food. Some were full to the brim with various fruits. A couple had mini grills in them that they used to cook noodles, fried rice, and banana roti (banana pancakes). At one point, there were so many boats in the main canal that there was a traffic jam! Usually the boats push themselves off other boats, but it was so crowded, the boats were literally side by side, touching each other. Finally a police officer climbed through a few boats and stood on a boat in the center of the canal and started directing traffic. It was awesome. We bought a few more things and headed back to Bangkok (I’ll spare you the details from our evening because they’re relatively boring.)

Mon, Feb 20
Once again, we woke early to meet our tour guide. We took a full-day tour to the temples in Ayutthaya, a town about 1 ½ hours from Bangkok that in ancient times was the capital of Thailand. It lost its capital status after the Burmese army invaded and burned almost everything down. We went to about 8 temples, and at nearly every one of them, the guide would include something about, “the Burmese army invaded and destroyed this temple.” One temple had a giant reclining Buddha covered in yellow robes for the winter season. At one temple ruin, there was a stone Buddha face set into a tree. I have no idea how they did that. It was a carved stone Buddha face set into a gap, but the tree kind of grew around it. Thais consider the feet to be the lowest part of the body and the head to be the most regal, so we weren’t allowed to stand up at full height next to the tree because that would make us taller than the Buddha. So if people wanted to take a picture with it, then had to crouch down. The last stop was the ancient city’s palace. It consisted of old temple ruins, a central temple with a beautiful Buddha inside, and an elephant camp. It was all very pretty, but also something we had seen 7 other times that day. So we moved on to the elephant camp. We didn’t want to pay to ride the elephants around in a circle because we planned on doing elephant riding in Chiang Mai, so we just watched them for a while. We paid to feed them bananas and paper packets full of vitamins. We were feeding the two young elephants because they were slightly less intimidating. One of the elephants knocked the entire bowl of food out of another tourist’s hands and wouldn’t let him get close enough to pick it all up. That was funny. We were feeding the big elephants when one of them blew banana, spit, and a little bit of snot at Erik. When I saw elephant slime on his shirt, I was done. I fed the baby elephant the rest of the food.

Tues, Feb 21
We tried to go to the National Museum and the National Gallery, but they were both closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. I was sad. Instead, we decided to take a riverboat tour of Bangkok. We cruised down the main river and then some side canals. We saw a whole bunch more of the wooden houses on stilts. I also saw the biggest school of the biggest catfish I’ve ever seen. It was really cool, but also a little worrisome. I didn’t think living creatures could survive in that water. Now that I know, I won’t be eating any seafood in Bangkok. It was about time for school to be let out, so we saw a lot of kids who were stopping for a swim on their way home from school. We spent a lot of time waving to them. I also saw a mailman! He was in a little canoe-style rowboat filled to the brim with letters. He would just row up to a house and leave their pack of letters on their dock. That was cool.That night, we took an overnight train north to Chiang Mai. Unfortunately, I ended up on the top bunk. The travel agent said it was cheaper because of the climb up there, but it was oh so much more. The train car was air-conditioned, and in Asia, that means it needs to be set at 40 degrees. And it wasn’t just me. Everyone was cold. To top it off, the air vent was blowing directly onto my bed over my little curtain. I managed to sweet talk one of the train workers into giving me an extra blanket, but Rahul wasn’t as successful. There are some advantages to being blonde, white, and female. Also, they didn’t turn out the lights the entire night, and being on the top, the light came right in over my curtain. But on the plus side, the bed was much more comfortable than the hostel we had been in on Khao San Road (we paid 90 baht each for that place; $2.30), and the curtain gave me a little private cubby hole. So it was a good trip.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Tourist Week, part deux

Monday, 30 Jan

Monday was the second of the 3 main days of Chinese New Year. The actual New Year lasts for something like 17 days, I’m not exactly sure. But those three days are when the major celebrations occur. For the New Year, Chinese people are supposed to visit the homes of family and friends. Since the population of Singapore is about 70% Chinese, the city was quite slow as most of those people went to China for a few days for home visits. So on Monday, since everything was closed for the New Year, we did the Hippo Tour. It was 6 different bus tours around the city. That was a lot of fun. I didn’t realize the layout of the city until I took the tour. Now I know how close together things really are in this city. It was nice getting to sit in the wind and see things without having to walk around in the heat. That night, we went to the River Hongbao, which was a little festival celebrating Chinese New Year. We tried to go there during the day, but it was completely dead. As soon as we walked in after dark, it was insane. Sooo many people. We watched a group of Chinese senior citizens do a weird dance. We couldn’t understand what they were saying because it was in Chinese. But it was interesting, anyway.

Tuesday, 31 Jan

We went to Sentosa Island, which is an island full of tourist attractions just a bit off the main island. We took a cable car over there, which was pretty cool. From that high up, we could see the main port and we could even see just a bit of Indonesia. We got a lot of cool pictures from that high up. Our first stop was the Underwater World. We saw lots of fish, sharks, crabs, and Asians. It was still Chinese New Year, so it was extremely crowded because of the holiday. There was also a glass tunnel you could go through that had fish swimming beside and above you. That was pretty cool – sharks and stingrays and giant fish were swimming all around us. I took my glasses off so Dad could take a picture of me with a giant fish behind me, but another giant fish swam towards me really fast, and I freaked out since I couldn’t see it clearly. So we have lots of blurry aquarium pictures. We took a Ben and Jerry’s break and then moved on to the Butterfly Garden. There were butterflies everywhere. I told Dad that I wanted to go somewhere away from all the people and stand really still so a butterfly would land on me. Two minutes later, one landed on my head, and a whole bunch of tourists were laughing at me and taking pictures of me. Fun stuff. We walked around there some more while I took tons of pictures trying to figure out my digital camera. We missed the dolphin show because we took the wrong bus and then didn’t want to wait to take another bus back – the line was about 2 hours long. So we just walked around, looking at the cool stuff, like the giant merlion statue. And then we got back on the cable car and headed back to the hotel.

Wednesday, 1 Feb

So I had to go back to school for class. I don’t know what they’re thinking. I’m an exchange student, I don’t do work. But I headed back anyway. I got back to campus with about 15 minutes to grab a quick lunch before class (I had been shopping with Mom and Grandma that morning, so I was running a bit late). So I order something I don’t really want because it had a short line. I run into some friends who are about to leave but say they will hang out with me for the next 10 minutes I have to inhale my food. Unfortunately, I never got the opportunity to do so because I fell down the stairs and deposited my food all over my legs rather than in my stomach. I was extremely embarrassed, shaking all over, covered in rice and brown sauce, and in pain. I didn’t have time to order a new meal, so I ate Bailey’s leftovers. So I removed the food from my NEW shoes and headed off to class. Not too bad for an abnormal psychology tutorial.But anyway, I’m rambling. I met up with everyone and we went to Pizza Hut for dinner because Mom decided she was already tired of Asian food. Yeah, try living here and having a small budget. And as a side note, some of the pizzas here don’t have tomato sauce. Instead, they have lime-mayonnaise sauce. Gross. After dinner, the server started asking us questions about where we were from, what we were doing in Singapore, the things we had seen here. We ended up talking to her for an hour about Singapore and the US. It was very interesting to talk to a native Singaporean and compare the two countries… she told us a lot about Singapore, and we told her about home. And Dad tried to explain to her what a Yankee is. That was funny. And then we headed down to Little India. Pretty cool, not bad. Mom haggled with a guy over cologne for Dad, but then just walked out of the store when the salesman pissed her off and tried to overcharge her. She had to learn: that’s what it’s like for Whities over here. Trust me, you will always get a better price if you ask a Chinese dude to haggle for you in Chinatown and an Indian to haggle for you in Little India. Take note.

Thursday, 2 Feb

So the first part of the day we shopped. That was cool. Mom bought me more shirts and a really nice dress. (I wore it on Valentine’s Day and I felt pretty.) And we chilled for a little while on Orchard Road while we waited for Dad to get off work. Orchard Road is simultaneously the most expensive part of town and the most western part of town. Go figure. This is where we stayed the first three nights in Singapore. This is where Mom said, “Wow, there’s so many westerners in Singapore,” and I had to clarify that “there’s so many westerners on Orchard.” Anyway. When Daddy got back, we headed off to the zoo. After 7pm, they have a Night Safari, which pretty much rocks. First we ate overpriced fish and chips, but it was western food that didn’t include a slab of meat and mushy, cold “French fries,” so I was happy. While we ate, we watched a mini show that was supposed to be like the original tribal peoples of Singapore and Borneo (which, by the way, there are none left of). They did a lot of cool stuff, like shoot blow darts at people and breath fire and stand on a human pyramid while shooting blow darts and throw flaming things around. Also, a peacock was walking around freely while we were eating. I continue to be bothered by the free-roaming birds around my meals when the BIRD FLU is currently killing people in Asia. Maybe I’m overreacting. Anyway, we moved away from the free show and settled down to the not-free show. Second row seats – we’re classy. The show was true Singaporean style… everything was a lesson, everything was Something You Should Not Do. It was cute, though. Some otters showed us how to recycle. And this guy lost his “Magee,” and the bad American actor who I think went to drama school in Kansas was trying to figure out what a Magee was. He finally figured out the guy was talking about a 10-foot PYTHON, which he lifted from a box in the seat directly behind Dad and Grandma. That ranks on the list of the Funniest Things I’ve Ever Seen. They were both up and out of their seats when he lifted that snake out. Highly amusing. Good show. So after, we got on the tram and rode around the zoo. The Singapore Zoo uses very few actual cages. Most of the animals just roam around and are divided by natural barriers rather than steel. When we drove through the deer and antelope and various other hoofed beasts, we could have reached out and touched them we were so close. Not to worry, though… they did have the big, bad animals in cages. Like the leopards. Very pretty creatures, but not somebody I’d want to meet in a dark alley. Or in a dark zoo. The other animals were cool too, but you’ve been to a zoo before. I’ll spare you the details.

Friday, 3 Feb

Friday was our shopping day. Yeah, I know, most days were our shopping days. But I got cool shoes, so I was happy. And we went to dinner at a really nice Indian restaurant. By the way, Indian food = delicious. Especially North Indian food. If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend finding it. And eating it. So we had good food while a live band entertained us. I mean “band” in the loosest sense of the word. I also mean “entertained” in the loosest sense of the word. But it was nice. And delicious. Did I mention that?

Saturday, 4 Feb

Well, first I had to go to class. Completely bogus to have class on a Saturday. I don’t understand why Singaporeans have holidays because then they just make up the missed lectures at the most inopportune times, for example, on a Saturday, or during midterm break. So after a boring lecture on the various international security dilemmas during and after the Cold War, I met up with everyone at the hotel again. We went to Chinatown because Mom wanted to go back there to pick up a couple things before she left. I didn’t buy much. It started raining. Let me tell you, they were lucky. When I arrived, it rained 5 times a day every day for 3 weeks. When they got here, it rained ONCE. Not once per day, but once the entire time. Lame. Then we went to the giant mall only for electronics. I find it pretty boring, but I know a few guys who would enjoy it, one of whom is my dad. We ate more western food at Surf N Turf, so that was cool. Then we said sad goodbyes so I could go back to school because they left sooo early in the morning.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Tourist Week, part 1

My parents and my grandma came to visit me in Singapore! It was a lot of fun playing tourist with them for a week. It actually felt like I was in another country for vacation. When I'm here at school, I don't do any of those things, partly because I don't have the money to. It was funny because Mom kept talking about how many westerners she kept seeing, but I had to remind her that if she got out of the tourist areas, she wouldn't see so many whities. Anyway, I've tried to write down the things we did while they were here. I can't remember what we did a couple days, but there's a lot of stuff to remember. There's so much stuff, I've divided it into Parts 1 and 2. So here's Part 1.

Thursday, 26 Jan
I met up with them at their hotel. Well, not quite. The cab driver misunderstood me and dropped me off about 4 blocks away. So I walked that far in the heat with my luggage and a hangover. Yes, a hangover. I figured I’ll go ahead and tell you because I’m sure Mom will anyway. I was sick as a dog. That’s what cheap pitchers on ladies’ night will do to you. So after I threw up in Chinatown, we decided to go back to the hotel, find me some medicine, and rest. Though I will say that it’s awesome being in college. Instead of yelling at me, we sat around at dinner (really good Italian, by the way) sharing drunk stories. Even Grandma threw some in. That was funny.

Friday, 27 Jan
We checked out Clarke Quay and Boat Quay. (I know you don’t know these places, but be patient… pictures will come, and then you can match it up. Like a game. It will be fun.) Boat Quay is pretty much a long row of restaurants and bars on the riverfront. We tried to just walk through there and look around, and that was a bad idea. Mom was getting impatient with the millions of salespeople we had to deal with who were trying to get us to eat or at least have a few drinks before Happy Hour ended. I told one guy I couldn’t drink in front of my parents (especially after the hangover fiasco), so he told me to drink soda. We walked to Clarke Quay to look around, which is like Boat Quay, but more spread out, more western, and slightly fancier. So we walked back to Boat Quay, and the soda guy remembered me, so we had Thai food there. It was pretty good.

Saturday, 28 Jan
First we tried to go to a festival for Chinese New Year, but that didn’t work out. Turns out that though the festival opens at 11 am, nothing really happens until about 8 pm. So we checked out some museums. We went to the Singapore History Museum, which was interesting, but a bit small. Mom and Grandma got tired and headed back to the hotel for a rest (jet-lag sucks; I’ll testify to that). Too bad for them, though, because Dad and I went to the Asian Civilizations Museum, which was way cooler. It was divided into galleries for the different ethnicities and time periods represented in Singapore. I read about this Singaporean legend: There was a great rock at the mouth of the Singapore River. It got there when the strongest man in Temasek (ancient Singapore) threw it there. Apparently this guy got his strength from eating the vomit of a demon. (I’m not making this up, I swear.) And the stone stayed there until a “foolish British engineer” blew it up to make the river passage bigger for large ships. Yeah, cool story.

Sunday, 29 Jan
On Sunday we went to Arab Street. We visited the Sultan Mosque, where we took our shoes off and walked in only to find that we were allowed only in the foyer. Though we could still see into the main temple, we weren’t allowed in there. Although it looked very nice, we were surprised to find how simple and undecorated it was on the inside. The outside is very big and beautiful, and the inside was just kind of plain. After, we shopped a little on Arab St, though most things were pretty quiet on a Sunday. There was a Malay street festival a couple blocks over, so we checked that out. They were selling the typical jewelry, clothes, food, etc. There was one woman selling massages, and she had a very clear sign saying “For Ladies Only.” Most Malays are Muslim, and Muslim women are not permitted to touch men at all who aren’t related to them. We tried to do a little shopping, but most of the places were closed. Not only was it a Sunday, but it was the beginning of Chinese New Year, so most things were shut down for days.