Today was my very first day of graduate school. My roommate came into my room this morning -- while I groggily checked the bus schedule in my underwear -- and sickeningly cried, "It's your first day of school! Can I take your picture?!" When my facial expression very clearly stated, "F--- off" and I mumbled something about Starbucks, she took her cue and left, sans photo.
Halfway through my first class, my morning chai tea buzz was wearing off, and I spaced out while my instructor, Jo, discussed... well, I'm not really sure. I was really out of it. Rather than listening, I was staring into space, twirling my pen, and thinking about starting a Stomp-style all-percussion garage band. I was contemplating how I could get Michael Cera to play that egg-looking shaker thing in my band when I heard Jo say, "Sometimes I get a little upset when I think about things that happen in..." (She trailed off, working to find the appropriate word). But I, struggling out of my fantasies of Stomp fame, heard only this sentence fragment, and for some inexplicable reason shouted, "...THE WORLD!" As my classmates tried to hide their giggles behind any barrier they could find, Jo responded as any teacher concerned for her students' self-esteem should: "Well, sure, sometimes I think about bad things in the world, that's right. But I also think about bad things that happen in institutional settings and the education system." Nice try, Jo, but I've read a thing or two about teaching. I know that trick. Red-faced, I just mumbled something about bad things happening in the world and how that upsets me. I'm a sensitive soul, you know.
My mentors suck. Where was their sage wisdom and advice when I needed it? Here's what I wish I had known: First, don't dress up for your first day - middle school, especially the sixth grade, is way too cool for long floral skirts and strappy flats. Second, pay at least enough attention so that you don't accidentally shout out Mad Libs in class.
It's good to know that in grad school, I can still feel as confused and embarrassed as I was in Ms. Jordan's pre-algebra class.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Welcome to the M.A.T. program. We’re here for you. Now please don’t ever talk to us.
I’ve never really understood why Orientations are so important to programs. What makes more sense to me is giving me a handout (because they’re going to give one to me at Orientation anyway), and then spending 5 minutes of the first class with a Q&A. At this point in my life, I don’t really feel like I need an hour-long session of the instructors reading the handbook to me. I learned how to read a while ago. I’ve even moved on the books without pictures!
Regardless of my feelings for the topic, I’m required to attend Orientation, so therefore I attend. Dr. Tree, whom I believe is head of all things MAT, started things off with what I’m guessing was an appropriate introduction. I’m not really sure; I had zoned out already.
Next was Arla, who started off her speech with, “I’m not one to spoon-feed people…” Really. Not kidding. That was the first thing this woman said to us. She went on to note that she was basically in charge of the program's management, and she would probably be the first person to go to with questions. But I believe her underlying message was, ‘I’ll tell you the answer, but not very nicely, because I don’t want you to ask me questions.’
Next was our licensure officer, who spent her entire time showing us how to find information and forms on the MAT website, and repeatedly said things like, “This is where you can find Form Such-and-Such online, so you don’t need to come ask me.” Or, “You can always check this website so you don’t need to come into the office.” Is it just me, or are we not welcome in the MAT office?
Dr. Tree took back the stage and gave us some “advice,” loosely paraphrased here:
Dr. Tree: One thing I like to remember is not to make quick judgments, because, you know, once a judgment is made, it’s hard to take back. … Blah blah blah… So you should probably not say some things… You know, part of our job is to help you find jobs and stuff, and we love to help you out with recommendation letters and that sort of thing.... Blah blah…
Me: Did he just tell us not to complain about the MAT program?
Guy Sitting Next to Me: Uhh… yeah, I think that was the basically the point.
Me: Well, that’s not a good sign, is it?
No, not at all a good sign that the first thing I learn at Orientation is not to complain about the program I’ll be in for the next year.
After reading us some stuff from the handbook about not failing classes, we met the graduate student instructors and then were given the okay to leave. Except for the Social Studies Cohort. We had to have a meeting with our Director. The 20 or so of us trooped upstairs to speak with Dr. Sue. (Unfortunately, not that Dr. Sue.) She then spent the next hour reading another handout to us, which was a few bullet points copied directly from the handbook we had received an hour earlier. She proceeded to cover exactly the points we had just heard about from Dr. Tree and the gang, because she had not attended the Orientation and did not realize that we had just received the same material. Except this time, we got to hear it with an accent.
To top the hour off, we got to introduce ourselves! (Because I haven’t done enough of ‘this is my name, I’m from here, and this is my major.’) I don’t really understand why she felt the need to repeat information at an outside meeting. We could have at least done that the first day of class. But no. Welcome to the School of Education, where we like to exemplify how NOT to run your classroom.
Regardless of my feelings for the topic, I’m required to attend Orientation, so therefore I attend. Dr. Tree, whom I believe is head of all things MAT, started things off with what I’m guessing was an appropriate introduction. I’m not really sure; I had zoned out already.
Next was Arla, who started off her speech with, “I’m not one to spoon-feed people…” Really. Not kidding. That was the first thing this woman said to us. She went on to note that she was basically in charge of the program's management, and she would probably be the first person to go to with questions. But I believe her underlying message was, ‘I’ll tell you the answer, but not very nicely, because I don’t want you to ask me questions.’
Next was our licensure officer, who spent her entire time showing us how to find information and forms on the MAT website, and repeatedly said things like, “This is where you can find Form Such-and-Such online, so you don’t need to come ask me.” Or, “You can always check this website so you don’t need to come into the office.” Is it just me, or are we not welcome in the MAT office?
Dr. Tree took back the stage and gave us some “advice,” loosely paraphrased here:
Dr. Tree: One thing I like to remember is not to make quick judgments, because, you know, once a judgment is made, it’s hard to take back. … Blah blah blah… So you should probably not say some things… You know, part of our job is to help you find jobs and stuff, and we love to help you out with recommendation letters and that sort of thing.... Blah blah…
Me: Did he just tell us not to complain about the MAT program?
Guy Sitting Next to Me: Uhh… yeah, I think that was the basically the point.
Me: Well, that’s not a good sign, is it?
No, not at all a good sign that the first thing I learn at Orientation is not to complain about the program I’ll be in for the next year.
After reading us some stuff from the handbook about not failing classes, we met the graduate student instructors and then were given the okay to leave. Except for the Social Studies Cohort. We had to have a meeting with our Director. The 20 or so of us trooped upstairs to speak with Dr. Sue. (Unfortunately, not that Dr. Sue.) She then spent the next hour reading another handout to us, which was a few bullet points copied directly from the handbook we had received an hour earlier. She proceeded to cover exactly the points we had just heard about from Dr. Tree and the gang, because she had not attended the Orientation and did not realize that we had just received the same material. Except this time, we got to hear it with an accent.
To top the hour off, we got to introduce ourselves! (Because I haven’t done enough of ‘this is my name, I’m from here, and this is my major.’) I don’t really understand why she felt the need to repeat information at an outside meeting. We could have at least done that the first day of class. But no. Welcome to the School of Education, where we like to exemplify how NOT to run your classroom.
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