First Day of School Memories

Today was my very first day of graduate school. My roommate came into my room this morning -- while I groggily checked the bus schedule in my underwear -- and sickeningly cried, "It's your first day of school! Can I take your picture?!" When my facial expression very clearly stated, "F--- off" and I mumbled something about Starbucks, she took her cue and left, sans photo.

Halfway through my first class, my morning chai tea buzz was wearing off, and I spaced out while my instructor, Jo, discussed... well, I'm not really sure. I was really out of it. Rather than listening, I was staring into space, twirling my pen, and thinking about starting a Stomp-style all-percussion garage band. I was contemplating how I could get Michael Cera to play that egg-looking shaker thing in my band when I heard Jo say, "Sometimes I get a little upset when I think about things that happen in..." (She trailed off, working to find the appropriate word). But I, struggling out of my fantasies of Stomp fame, heard only this sentence fragment, and for some inexplicable reason shouted, "...THE WORLD!" As my classmates tried to hide their giggles behind any barrier they could find, Jo responded as any teacher concerned for her students' self-esteem should: "Well, sure, sometimes I think about bad things in the world, that's right. But I also think about bad things that happen in institutional settings and the education system." Nice try, Jo, but I've read a thing or two about teaching. I know that trick. Red-faced, I just mumbled something about bad things happening in the world and how that upsets me. I'm a sensitive soul, you know.

My mentors suck. Where was their sage wisdom and advice when I needed it? Here's what I wish I had known: First, don't dress up for your first day - middle school, especially the sixth grade, is way too cool for long floral skirts and strappy flats. Second, pay at least enough attention so that you don't accidentally shout out Mad Libs in class.

It's good to know that in grad school, I can still feel as confused and embarrassed as I was in Ms. Jordan's pre-algebra class.