Working Women

During our last EDUC class, the Schoolgirls group asked questions about working moms and stay-at-home moms. I just have a few ideas that I would like to throw out so they stop swimming around in my head.

I think when it comes down to it, a woman should do what she wants. If she wants to be a stay-at-home mom, then she should be. If she wants a career, then she should get one. Personally, if I were to stay at home all day with my hypothetical kids, I might shoot myself. I know I couldn't handle it. I know I'll have a career. And obviously there are benefits to both choices.

I have a problem with society when it comes to this issue. There's a huge group of "modern" women who look down on mothers who choose to not have a job so they can spend their time with their kids. I think this is awful. These moms are seen as backwards. On the other hand, there's a huge group of "old-fashioned" women and men who think that a mom's rightful place is at home with her kids, not in an office. I think this may piss me off even more. If there's one thing I hate, it's people trying to force other people into gender roles. I don't see how that's any different from racial stereotyping. As I said, it's the woman's choice and the family's choice.

The biggest problem I have with this whole thing is the male role in the situation. (Now be prepared, I'm about to make some big generalizations, but they are supported by statistics. So when I say "men" I mean "a large group of American men.") How many times have we heard the phrase "a woman trying to balance her family and her career?" Why do we never hear about "a MAN trying to balance his family and his career?" Furthermore, when asked what the biggest causes of stress are in their lives, women tend to put this balancing act at the very top of their list, while men put it more towards the bottom, if on the list at all. A book called, "The Second Shift" explains that trend. As part of the modern woman outlook, more and more women are getting educations and having careers. However, there are not nearly as many men who are becoming stay-at-home dads. Also, men in general tend to not pick up their share of the work and childcare at home after their work at the office. Staying home with children is increasingly looked at as inferior to having a career, especially for men. A stay-at-home dad will likely be the brunt of many jokes from his male friends challenging his masculinity and wondering why he is doing "women's work." Talk about gender roles. While women are moving to the "superior" position as careerwomen, men are NOT moving to the "inferior" position as homemakers. Thus, modern women are doing double the work and therefore have double the stress.

So my question is, when did being with children become so looked down upon? I'll admit, I don't particularly like the idea of being with small children all day every day, but that is because of personal preferences, not social ideology. Maybe people don't realize how hard it is to raise children. Maybe misogyny is still hanging around. I don't know. But I don't like it. I would like for women to be able to make the choice that they want to make without having to worry about being socially stigmatized by one group or another. I would like for women to be able to raise children in a healthy, loving environment while carrying on a career they love. I would like for men and women to challenge gender roles and not be so rigid. I would like... a lot of things.